I once read an article, I think it was in GQ, that said men make fun of their best friends. They don’t insult or mess with their not so good friends. In a way this make a perverted kind of sense. Your best friends know you don’t really mean it, your so-so friends aren’t sure. So it is a show of affection to insult your friends.
This don’t work so well with women. It is my personal opinion American women are very neurotic. They take everything you say in the worst possible way. Therefore they don’t understand this insult is affection thing at all and it wears on their psyche.
So how do you as a male live with your natural tendency to insult your wife as a show of affection? There are a number of ways to insult people. The worst ones are those that pick on their worst traits. Another is to exaggerate some trait of the other person, normally some not so flattering trait.
You can use this exaggeration of trait as a means of “insulting” your wife, but you exaggerate a good trait. Few woman are insulted to be called too skinny. Or too pretty. Or too sexy. You can say thing like “Yeah well people wouldn’t be staring at your if you weren’t so freaking good looking.” “Don’t worry they always let you pretty girls have what ever you want.” “The problem with you is you’re too sexy. Distracts me all the time.”
I think you get the picture.
Another thing about insulting people.The truth is the unconscious mind takes everything seriously. I may understand you are jesting and lower the belief of your statements, but it still keeps track of them. If you tell someone repeatedly, even in jest, they are stupid or ugly, they will eventually begin to believe it at a very low level. Of course the same is true in the opposite direction. If you say good things, even if they consciously don’t believe your, subconsciously they will be getting a positive message.