If I’m ever king of the world, Kershaw is going to make me a katana. If I’m ever transported to a fantasy world – the kind with elves, not nubile females – I hope this knife is transported with me.

This is my wife’s Christmas present to me. A 10″ Kershaw Shun Chef’s Knife.

I think it deserves a name. All inanimate objects are named after women, so it needs a woman’s name. Since I’m a little afraid of it, I want a name that implies danger. And since the handle is shaped like a “D” – so those shifty left-handers can’t use it as well – I thought it should start with a D.

I know no Japanese women’s names at all. The lady who help us pick it out at Sur La Table was Japanese, but her name was Beverly. All the women of Japanese descent I know have regular English names, like Angie. And my boys, big into manga, don’t know any names either.

The first name I thought of was Delilah, who was indeed dangerous and famous for cutting on a man. But it seems a little too sinister.

My wife suggested another semi-biblical character Judith, who chopped of a man’s head, after I mentioned Jael, who drove a spike through a man’s head.

A co-worker suggested Sidney, of Alias fame, but it doesn’t roll off the tongue right.

Doesn’t have to be done today. Naming can take time and should be done correctly.