Went to a comedy improv show in Leith the other night. They gave everyone a sheet of paper and said you could doodle on it and I played myself a game tic-tac-toe in the corner. It was a draw of course, just like thermonuclear war.

Then they had us name a play. I tore off my suggestion and it included the little game. The guy who read my title said, “The Caterpillar Christmas, and a game of naughts and crosses.”

It may be a Scottishism, but it is very different.