Why homeschool

I was reading Mrs. du Toit’s post on why she took her kids out of public school and what the problems are. I posted a comment, but here is a recap.

Lot’s of good stuff. I totally agree. We never put our kids in the public school system and only put the eldest in a private school for the first grade. After our first parent teach conference where the teacher said we were the problem, that was it. I could tell stories, but I’ll not right now.

Couple of comments:

…if they a bored, controlled, unable to wiggle or play, talk or laugh, they are going to get home and EXPLODE. Which is why, you might think our kids (or homeschool kids, in general) are sooooo quiet. They aren’t quiet. That’s NORMAL. And if your kid wasn’t being abused all day long, your kid would be calm and happy, too.

This is the difference between normal and average. People expect children to act a certain way because all children do. But that doesn’t mean it is the normal behavior. Since most kids are in public schools, they think their behavior is normal because it is the same as all the other kids. I once heard it explained that it is normal for a human to be able to run a mile with only some heavy breathing, but it is average to be out of breath at the top of a single flight of stairs.

As an aside I had a friend go visit his first grader for lunch one day. He said they had to sit at the table with out saying anything and when they were done eating, they had to lay their heads down until it was time to go outside. Crazy.

If the school recommends that your child take drugs, such as Ritalin, tell THEM to take it.

You know Ritalin is a stimulant to adults. If teachers can’t keep up with the kids, giving it to them might give them an edge.

And you aren’t a wack job. The Mrs and I were just discussing the other day how the state of Texas doesn’t even know we have children, and that’s a good thing. They’ve never been under the watchful eye of the department of education.

Written while listening to “Texas Flood”
by Stevie Ray Vaughn

Pussification

It’s the current controversy on the blogosphere. Kim Du Toit’s rant on The Pussification Of The Western Male. After reading a couple of related responses including the one from Kim’s wife and Spoon’s I thought I’d add my two cents. In the interest of being erudite.

His tone is a rant and he uses semantically loaded verbiage but he has a lot to say. It is OK for guys to be guys and want to do guy stuff. It is also good for men to show leadership in family, politics and life in general. The problem I have with his essay is it doesn’t seem to me to show an alternative that is good. I don’t want guys to abuse women or get drunk all the time, or abandon their wives and family because they feel slighted by a wife’s off-hand comment.

Having read Kim’s site for awhile I don’t think he is really saying that either. But some people could take it that way.

The problem I see, and Spoons touches on it, is there is no standard for manhood put forth that elevates people. The Man Show, which I enjoy, is not about men being better, its about them being worse. Of course people/women look at it and say its horrible, because it shows men as undisciplined hedonists. As an aside I don’t watch it anymore because I feel the new hosts go over the line. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Guys should be able to get drunk once in a while like Kim said, but the optimal word is once in a while.

Bachelor Party

I think my recent bachelor party experience was an example of how the pussification has effected us white suburbanites.

First the bride laid down some guidelines about how we couldn’t go anywhere that “exploited women”. By this she meant a strip club. There are a number of things wrong with this statement.

First, in keeping with Kim’s line of thought, she really had no right to make such a demand. The point of a bachelor party is to let the groom experience all the things he experienced as a bachelor and will not be able to experience after marriage without the Mrs. approval. She doesn’t get to set limits. Those have already been set by the groom in his life before marriage. Now in our case we weren’t out to get him laid, because we are all conservative men would have a problem with him fucking someone with out commitment. We wouldn’t have let him do it. But we were dang well going to get him some titty to look at. It should be said that J wouldn’t have fucked even if we wanted him to because that was his limit. His standards. If his bride didn’t like his standards, or didn’t trust him to live up to them, she shouldn’t be marrying him in the first place.

As an aside if she really thinks stripper are exploited, she knows nothing about the economics of strip clubs.

Secondly all the guys were really excited about going. We kept referring to as a “free pass” for the guy related activities of the evening. Wives aren’t threatened or insulted by their husbands going out with a bunch of guys and getting a little drunk, looking at beautiful women’s mostly naked bodies and acting like an idiot, when it is a bachelor party.

Kim might say you shouldn’t need a pass from your wife for a guys night out. But the fact is you want to live with this women and maintain her respect for you, so the two of you have to work out a balance. Your wife has a expectation of a standard of behavior from you. This expectation should have been worked out between you before this. If you disagree on the standard, there are deeper problems in your marriage.

Another interesting thing is all most all the guys want to do it again. There just isn’t enough guy’s night stuff in our lives.

Standards

I think a lot of the problems, the weakness, of the American male is they no longer have standards and discipline. These are not valued in post-modern America. Standards are no longer valued because they are based on the belief that somethings are right and somethings are wrong.

Including the belief somethings are right and wrong. If you think otherwise you are wrong.

It is too long a discussion to get into on why we don’t believe in right and wrong anymore, but we don’t. In America you can’t say someone else’s beliefs are wrong, heck you can’t even say yours is right.

No where was this more evident than the protests surrounding the Promise Keepers movement in the 90s. Women’s movements and the liberal media went ape shit over it. They said it was turning back the clock on equality. But you know who appreciated it the most? The wives and female friends of Promise Keepers. Because most women really do want a man who followed the 7 Promises. Remember promise #1 was already a given for most of the people involved in PK. They were already Christians. They already had a belief system that said a man was the head of the house, whatever that meant. And PK wasn’t a political movement. It was about changing individual men’s lives. The women’s movement was scared because they felt PK was out to control the government and make women “submissive” again.

What were they afraid of? That men would have male friends(#2)? That they wouldn’t cheat on their wives (#3)? That they would love, honor, defend, guide and just be generally be active in their families(#4)? That they would be active in their churches (#5)? They would make friends with men of other races and learn their life experiences (#6)?

Discipline

Even when men have standards, they don’t do any good if you don’t follow them. Discipline is the ability to follow up on promises. It is doing what you don’t want to do. Anyone can do things they want to do. It takes effort to do things you don’t want to do.

When I was in college and took a class on marriage and family relations the professor said something that stuck with me “The goal of all discipline is self discipline.” When you make a rule and use force to get your kids to follow it, you are teaching them discipline. When you make a rule then let them break it you are crippling them for life. It is those with discipline that succeed in life. They are the people who do the important things that need to be done but are no fun. They fight the fights. Life in America is easy and we don’t have to work our discipline muscles very often and our kids, our boys, don’t either.

It seems to me God made men and women different so that they complement one another. Fathers lay down the law and enforce it to the letter. Mothers comfort and relate to the harshness of life. If one of these is missing, you get a person with no discipline or no heart. It is a father’s role to guide a boy – or push – into things that scare him. He should know Dad is there to protect him, but that he needs to strive on his own. Mother is there to comfort him. She is there to tell him other people’s feelings matter. To point out when he needlessly hurts others. A boy with both of these influences will grow up respecting others and strong in his beliefs. This is what is missing in America. Either the dads aren’t there – because the divorced, where never there, or are working all the time – or they are taking on the female role, comforting and making life easier for their boys.

I don’t think the college rape problem is a reaction to pussification. I think is a lack of discipline. If there is any area of American culture that is out of control it is sexuality. And society seems to be OK with it. The problem is when you get a drunk aggressive male in a situation where he can get some pussy just by using a little force, he’s likely to do it, because the act isn’t that important. It lacks meaning. It’s like stealing a beer.

In the past sex was about marriage. It meant commitment. It was important and taking it was a major thing. It changed the woman forever. Now sex is about pleasure, and is no big deal. So rape, a crime of violence, goes from being just under murder in importance, to just above bullying.

Discipline and standards means a college guy knows deep down in his soul and right in the front of his mind, that if he can’t handle his liquor he shouldn’t drink. That force is to be used only in defense, and not as a way to get what you want. That women are to be treated like his mother or sister until he is ready to treat them like his wife.

And if a man lives a disciplined life he can be allowed more leeway to do wild things. A guy who has been faithfully married for 10 years can go to strip club without his wife worrying. But a guy who’s been married a year and already cheated on his wife once can’t. Once you’ve shown you can hold your liquor, you can go get drunk once in a while. The problem is many young men think they deserve to be treated like older men, when they haven’t proven themselves yet.

Written while listening to “Erotica”
album Erotica
by Madonna
Written while listening to “Sunday Bloody Sunday”
album The Best Of 1980-1990
by U2
Written while listening to “Where Are You Going”
album Busted Stuff
by Dave Matthews Band
Written while listening to “Adrienne”
album Camino Palmero
by The Calling
Written while listening to “Out Of Control”
album Best Oingo Boingo
by Oingo Boingo
Written while listening to “Weird Science”
album Weird Science Soundtrack
by Oingo Boingo
Written while listening to “Me Against the Music”
album In The Zone
by Britney Spears

Windows sucks

I just spent 30 minutes fulfilling a request of my sons to do something should have taken about 2 minutes. He wanted to transfer files from our Windows ME machine to one of our Macs. If they had both been Macs it would have taken a couple of seconds to do the connection. Mac OS X can see Windows networked computers, but ours didn’t show up and trying to figure out how to get it on the network took a lot of time and was ultimately fruitless.

Eventually I turned on FTP access on the iMac. Which involved one click in System Preferences. Then I used IE on the Windows machine to connect via FTP entering the username and password in the URL.

I hate windows.

Lenny Freaking Kravitz?

Being a fan, I’m amazed about Nicole Kidman’s new love. You know Lenny Kravitz is one of those guys who guys just don’t understand. Women seem to think he’s hot, but I think the guy is just bone ugly. Now he bags one of my most beautiful women.

I just don’t get it. Guess he must be a nice guy, right? Chicks like nice guys. Especially hot chicks.

Riiiiightt.

Guy has to be a jerk. All hot chicks like jerks. I mean look at Nicole’s first husband. Cruise was suppose to be a mega-jerk. Can’t expect a hollywood chick to do better next time out.

Of course all I really know about Kidman is the persona she has carefully manufactured. She’s suppose to be something of a wild child in real life. But people who work with her seem to like her.

Ok this was a rant.

In reality I hope I’m wrong about jerkhood and Nicole find happiness.

Written while listening to “Stigmatized”
album Camino Palmero
by The Calling
Written while listening to “Hungry Heart”
album Greatest Hits
by Bruce Springsteen
Written while listening to “Your Song”
album Greatest Hits
by Elton John

Guarantee

Got my PowerBook back, but I missed most of a day at work. It was shipped Airborne Express with there Express shipping, which they guarantee will be there before Noon. It arrived at around 3. After I called and asked where it was. They said there was a delay this morning and they were running behind. But what does it mean that it is “guaranteed”? What happens to them if they don’t show on time? Nothing.

Oh well, I’ve got my baby back.

Landline Phones and Canadian Postal Workers

Couple of weeks back I was looking at lowering expenses and one of the things I looked at was getting rid of our landline. Both my wife and I have cell phones and it seemed a little ridiculous to pay $50 a month for a land line. Well, we ultimately decided against getting rid of it all together because we have kids.

911 doesn’t work so well right now from a cell phone. If you pick up your home phone, dial 911 and collapse someone will show up at your door. I know one of my kids dialed 911 when we lived in Austin and the first time I knew about it was when a sheriff’s deputy showed up at the door. Also if you leave the kids with a baby sitter and take the cell phones with you they have no way of calling you or 911.

So we decided to keep the landline, but take all the extra stuff off. So we’d be losing voicemail and I decided to look on ebay to see if what a cheap answering machine would cost. I ended up winning an auction for a cordless phone with answering machine for like $30 with shipping. The seller was in Canada and I sent money via PayPal and he shipped the next day. But I haven’t received it yet, so I emailed the guy and got the tracking number. The package is still sitting in Mississauga, Ontario. Here’s the sellers explanation of why it is still there.

Our postal service is extra slow due to the fact they are about to go on strike. They haven’t yet but they have slowed down their working progress.

Got to love unions.

Written while listening to “Come What May”
album Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
by Nicole Kidman&Ewan McGregor
Written while listening to “Rebuttal”
album Project 86
by Project 86

Unsubscribing blogs

I dropped two blogs from my NetNewsWire subscription list since election day. Scripting News and Daring fireball. I also almost dropped another because of their stupid left wing politics.

I kind of need to suck up to Dave Winer, because I want him to change a spec he controls. But after his thrid stupid comment about Bush and Republican’s wanting war with Iraq because they want to oil, I unsubscribed. The guy must be an idiot. Of course he’s from California, so they explains a lot. Those people never seem to think. I guess he doesn’t give a crap if the Iraqi people are oppressed. If a despot who killed millions of his people, his neighboring Iran’s people, and is one of the few people to invade another country in the past 25 years has nuclear or chemical weapons.

The oil argument is stupid because we don’t need Iraq’s oil. We happen to buy it, but we could do without it. The only people who currently benefit from Iraqi oil is Hussan. If he is kicked out a democratic government is put in place, the all of Iraq can benefit.

But that doesn’t matter. Not if we have to fight for it. Fighting is bad.

This isn’t a very articulate posting, but it got under my skin and I’m venting.

I didn’t unsubscribe immeadiately because I figured the American people had just told liberals all across the nation they suck and that made them need to vent and feel superior. But they’ve had a couple of days to grow up, and I’m not going to keep reading thier crap.