My wife is off at a homeschooler function. I decided not to go and she left before I got home. I found a box in the kitchen with one of two pregnancy tests in it. Can’t reach the Mrs on the phone. Searched the trash cans for the used test and didn’t find it. I’m nervous.
The thought of having another kid really scares me. I look at my future from my 40 year old vantage point and think, “I’m almost done. Soon I can do what I want.”
My boys are 13 and 14. In about 5 years they will be off to college and I’ll have my life back to myself for the winters. In another 5 years I’ll cross the half century mark and hopefully they will be on their own. There’s a lot of stuff left to do, and I’ll have to spend a lot of money that I’ll have to earn during that period of time. So no crazy young person living poor to do what you want stuff. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
But if we have a baby….
I’ll be 60 before I’m free.
Makes you think maybe you should learn to be free now, with kids. But you can’t. There’s too much of your existence and your kids futures depending on being a responsible adult.
I really want to hear from the wife. But for now I’m off to research vasectomies.
UPDATE: The Mrs isn’t pregnant. She was feeling sick in the mornings and decided she might be even though she has her tubes tied. But I did realize I’m less afraid of a doctor going at my nads with a knife than of a new born at 40. I’ll get a referral tomorrow.